Early in the work
week I was honored to be invited to attend the Interfaith Immigration Reform
Prayer Service at a local Catholic Church.
Rev. Hawkins was attending on behalf of FPC/La Iglesia Del Pueblo. Not only was I invited, but I was invited to
attend as clergy and wear a stole or vestment!
Yikes! My first thought was, “I’m
not clergy yet…I can’t do that!”
However, I happened to be with Rev. Hawkins when he spoke to the
coordinator of the event…he mentioned the congregation’s seminary intern (that’s
me!) would be attending and she warmly invited me to attend and wear a vestment
or stole as I am in the process for ordination.
So, I decided to embrace my clergy role (that is what this summer
internship is about after all, right?) and go with it. So I borrowed one of Rev. Story’s stoles
(which happened to be from Guatemala) and wore it proudly.
Man, was I glad I decided to wear
that stole! As I wore it, I became more
and more comfortable with the idea of me as real, live clergy. One day, God willing, I will be ordained and
will wear a robe and stole regularly. It
will become a part of my weekly Sunday wardrobe. But the main reason I was glad I wore it is
because when we arrived at the prayer service (in a local Catholic church,
remember), I was one of only three women clergy there! I was shocked! I’ve been in the Bible Belt most of my life,
which means that I see lots of pastors, male and female alike. And yes, some Bible Belt people have problems
with female clergy, but it hasn’t been a big issue yet in my life. However, at this moment, when I’m nearing my ordained
life and profession, I felt small and insignificant in comparison to all of the
clergy men, some dressed from head to toe in their vestments and clergy
garb.
I
felt very out of place but decided to passionately embrace my clergy
responsibility. As one of the service
coordinators showed Rev. Hawkins and me to where we would be seated after the
clergy processional, she turned to me and said, “Don’t worry, there will be
other female clergy here soon.” I
immediately responded, “I’m not worried.
I’m proud to be a female clergy.”
My response actually shocked me.
Where did that come from? I never
would have expected myself to respond so quickly and affirmatively that I was
indeed clergy (still in training, but clergy mind you).
After
the event, I realized that I have indeed watered down the seminary call at
times and the future clergy role. Often
times when peers ask me what I’m doing, I’ll say that I’m in graduate school
studying to work with inner-city kids.
This is indeed true, but it’s also sugar-coating it and taking the
spot-light off of the preacher role. When
dating, I rarely ever tell the guy at first what I’m really in grad school for…that’s
third or fourth date material! =) But this experience at the prayer service made
me realize that it is far time I truly embrace and live out my clergy
role. I know without a doubt in the
depths of my heart and soul that this is what God has called me to do…to serve
the world in ministry and love as an ordained minister. I’m claiming it; I’m owning it. I’m shouting it loud and proud from the
rooftops!